Experts say Sky’s Falling on economy; all seek shelter! Uhh...The Sky's Falling, Jethro!

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Sep 19, 2016 No Comments ›› Dan Bodine

"Hey, Jethro! What's the Economy looks like? OK to come out for a while? WHAT?" [Image by Pixabay]

“Hey, Jethro! Ehh…What’s the Sky look like up there? OK to come out for a while? …WHAT!?”                                                   [Image by Pixabay]

By Dan Bodine


Everyone fleeing the overseas markets? Not often I bring my readers some financial stock advice, but you know how 2016 elections have become. Hell, your best friends are the ones with an unbreakable crystal ball! Here we are!

Jethro and I have a conservative Republican one that’s flashing steady red alerts now! That means scramble your cash out of the markets and find you a hole in some wall to hide out for a while! Hee, hee! Kapish?

No less than GOP presidential nominee Donald “The Billionaire Dón” Trump — in a newspaper-type headline, of course — advised a few days ago he’d already dumped his stocks. And advised others to do so also! (That same headline a few decades ago would beThousands Flee as Trump Dumps,” no? Sigh…)

The Republican Party’s renown for looking out for your business interest. Here’s the GOP’s top dog himself esoterically telling others evacuate the trough! Hell, even Jethro and I know what that means: Giddy-up and go back to Big Mama!

Even more so than listening to the presumptive next U.S President is advice from a business-columnist lawyer I like to follow. Guy’s good!

In Michael Lewitt’s Sure Money, i.e.: “With central banks owning $25 trillion of financial assets and sovereign wealth funds owning countless trillions more, it is time to ask whether post-World War II capitalism is morphing into a new phase?”

How much is a trillion dollars!? Hell, even the original Bodeens never flung stuff like that! Jethro told me once he had “a couple gazillion” stashed away in his Monopoly’s boardwalk account, but I’d figured he’d gotten confused counting nasal hairs!

Lewitt’s particular disdain for central banks buying up lots of stocks underscores his old-school honesty though. His mama taught him to play by the damn rules or don’t play at all! He has a right to be miffed!

“That is not what central banks were created to do,” he goes on. “Central banks … are monetizing massive amounts of government and now corporate debt [emphasis mine] in a global Ponzi scheme that is destroying the world’s fixed income markets.”

Hijole, Jethro, any reason you and I ought to even be around here!? We need to duck fast!

“Markets are more fragile today than they were on the cusp of the 2008 financial crisis,” Lewitt adds, “governments and companies are more leveraged; and the geopolitical landscape is dangerously unstable. Investors are ignoring these warning signs at their peril.”

Understand all that, dear readers? Beneath all this greedy, neoliberal puff stuff Radical Capitalism has piled up on our public vehicle  (Surely Lewitt’s “new-era” some, though; he calls this Cannibal Capitalism, i.e.) someone’s letting the air out of our tires!

Gleeful? Did I hear someone mutter I sound a bit gleeful!?

Uh, uh! Let me collar-that-wild-hog myself!

When I retired, had a little nest-egg of mutuals, I did! Yeah, me! (Thanks to Noemi, ok!) But what happened!?

Well, you see…Like millions of others now, yes… We’re on fixed incomes! And this damn ol’ Great Recession has been going on-n-n and on-n-n…And we absolutely had to have a few crisis-things done here and there…Know what I mean?

Until Zilch! We standing butt-naked before the Good Lord Above!

Too, as an ol’ JP retiree from one of the poorest counties in Texas — and from a down-south precinct historically chiseled-a-bit, budget-wise on occasions by the county also — my family lives about as close to the economic fault line as some ol’ drunk, eggshell-walking, flamingo bird dares to go!

Hee, hee! That’s the definition Republicans give economic idiots on the front row when the shit hits the fan! Again! You fools!

I’ll repeat again the obvious: The world of financing ain’t my cup of tea! But burdened with both anxieties and curiosity, I’m reading tea leaves again!

“Got that reading-magnifier handy there, Jethro? When can folks expect the next Great Bubble? That big rip-snorter,  one that’ll knock the floor out from under large dogs and small dogs alike!?

“….Uh, you got lock-jaw all of a sudden, ol’ buddy!? Move over! Lemme see! …

“….My-oh-my-oh-my! An October Surprise!!!  Looks like it’s dead-ahead!

“…Grinning at us, as they tend to do at times, like a caca-eatin‘ possum with his lipstick-smudged mouth wrinkly clean!!”

Hee, hee! Especially to those of us on the front row!

Jethro, waddaya mean, you didn’t bring no towels? Hell’s Bells! I can’t depend on you for nothing!? Not even an umbrella!?”

“… Jethro, Jethro, where’re ya’ goin’!! Jethro!”

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